This week has been a time of self reflection. Not sure why, nothing major happened that would cause me to ask myself a million questions...about myself. But I started thinking about the ways I define who I am. I'm a spin instructor. I'm a woman. I am a preacher's kid (that right there probably explains a LOT). I'm a country girl and city girl all at the same time. I really love Christmas, probably more than Buddy the Elf.
I began to think about some of the things I'm not, because there are definitely things out there that don't and should not define us. I felt pretty liberated in breaking the boundaries on the things that don't define me so I thought I would share. Since I'm in a year of transition in my life, understanding who I am has been very important. I think it's because at the end of the year, I'll be taking on a new identity as a wife, a new last name, and eventually, a mother. Mama Laughlin's post yesterday about self worth really brought that home in thinking about how important I am to myself.
Side note...if you are offended or just don't understand, I really can't help you there. Some of you are probably going to read this and go ... well she's selfish, that's conceited, what a B! I'm really not, I'm just feeling a sense of coming into my own right now. Sharing is caring. Get over it :)
So here are 10 things that I'm not.
1. I am not 100% defined by my job. Do I love what I do for a living? Absolutely! Do I work for a wonderful, expanding company? Yes. Do I go around introducing myself as "Hi, I'm Rebecca, Manager for eExchange Account Management"? Not a lot. Not unless I'm in a meeting and have to say it. But this is not who I am 100% of the time. I'm so many other things. I think it's important to enjoy your job and truly be good at what you do, but know that you other things to other people.
2. I am not quiet. EVER. I talk loud, I laugh out loud, I sing loud. If I'm not being loud, that usually means something is wrong. I get this from my Granny Price. She has never been quiet. She's almost 94 and when I'm out with her cranky self, sometimes I find myself going "Shhhh....GRANNY, don't say that so loud!" She will flat out criticize the prices on thrift store clothing to the store owners (when they're like, a dollar for a shirt). But you know what, she's earned the right to be loud and say whatever she wants. I hope I'm just as snarky as she is one day.
3. I am not defined by my kids...yet. (well, I don't have any, just a furry baby). Ok so some of you moms are going to probably get mad at me on this one. I sometimes drink champagne with my girlfriends at fun restaurants and not at my house because I still can. But that's where my life is right now. I can't wait to be a mom one day. I love a lot of other people's kids. I babysit a lot. I think they're wonderful little human beings. But sometimes, when I'm in Publix, I see one running around acting a fool with snot boogers and I think....hmm....not yet....but one day.
4. I'm not level headed at times. I like to play it like I'm a powerful woman that can walk around in her high heels, smugly, and just not care about small things. But I have emotions. I have a lot of feelings. And sometimes they come out...in the form of tears. Sometimes at my desk. I'm a woman with hormones...you just have to deal.
5. I am not a size 2. Nor will I ever will be any number close to zero. But I'm learning to accept my shape and the improvements I've made. Love to all the ladies with tree trunk muscular thighs, because that's EXACTLY who I am.
6. I am really blunt. This goes along with #2 at times. Loud and blunt. I speak my mind. I don't have a filter most days. I probably should at times, but I say exactly what I'm thinking.
7. I am not good at having long hair. I love chopping it all off during the summer. My mom has always had short hair, so that's probably why. Short people = short hair do's. I have to grow it out for the wedding. I am probably going to get it all chopped off on Dec 16th, the day after we're married, for our trip to the Bahamas.
8. I am not as young as I used to be. UGH, this one hits me every day of my life. I work in a company that is full of 23-27 year old girls as the typical female demographic. I look at their non-cellulite bodies, long hair, and pearly white smiles. And I want to remind them that they too will get older at some point. They'll put on jeans one day to realize they have muffin tops. They won't be able to eat pizza at 3 AM after drinking all night and put on a bikini the next day. They'll understand the 2 day hangover. But you know what, I'm not jealous, because my 30's have been amazing and I'm going to embrace aging as best I can. And I was once a young girl myself, so I'm more reminiscent on this one more than anything. Even if I do get Botox in my face. PREVENTION Y'ALL!
9. I'm not into music that is jam-bandy or so weird that I can't follow it. Sorry DMB. I hated your concert I went to years ago. Your songs should stop after 5 minutes. Widespread Panic falls under that category. Grateful Dead. I just can't do it.
10. I am not afraid to make mistakes. I make mistakes on a daily, probably hourly basis. I assume the wrong things sometimes. I stick my foot in my mouth. But along with that, I'm not afraid to apologize. I know when I'm wrong. One thing I will do is answer for myself.
Today's my day off, but the first thing I wanted to do this morning was share this with you guys. How do you define yourself and what things don't define you? How do make changes to how your view yourself?
Just a little food for thought as you start the weekend. Exciting news, since I'm in love with blogging, I'm investing in an updated blog design. Should be available in the next few weeks. REALLY happy because I need some help in that area. And sometimes, you just need a professional to do it. So keep an eye out for a new, cute design. SUPER pumped about that.
Ya'll have a GREAT start to your weekend! I know I am!
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