The amazing train wreck that is...The Bachelor.

Ok I have to digress from healthy/Jillian Michael's post this evening.  WHY?

Because...

 

It's Monday night in America and ladies, you know what that means...The Bachelor has returned itself to primetime television!!! (Insert eye roll OR gleeful happy/stompy dance here depending on who you are).

 

So if you were just glued to your TV for the past 2 hours, keep on reading.  If you despise this show and eye rolled immediately, check back in tomorrow for some workout updates.  K? Thanks!

 

This show is wonderful for so many reasons.  I mean, come on, it's not hard to get sucked into watching an amazingly hot dude (who has a 99% chance of being a douchelord) each week.  Chris Harrison accompies the show with his crisp suits and over-dramatic interviews with the lovely (crazy) ladies, and then the dude of the moment.

 

At this moment, we all have come to know and love the glory that is...Juan Pablo (aka Juanny P).

 

The guy gets major points alone on his accent.  And a few for the fact that he doesn't have to shave and still manages to look hot.  Sigh.  Thank you Latin American Gods.

 

OH WAIT...he's also a dad.  100,000 more hotness points.  (I feel like ABC is definitely playing the hot mom/dad card here recently, since Emily Maynard managed to hang around so long.  But she sucked and had way too much Botox and that's a whole new blog post. I mean, how do you get rid of One F Jef?).

 

Sometimes, ABC does not pick a good one.  Remember BEN???

 

Ok I can't criticize too much, his hair was nothing short of amazing.  It was always perfectly windblown or touseled.  He made wine for a living...that's cool.  I also felt like he resembeled Josh Groban.  I felt like any moment, he would bust out into "You Raise Me UPPPPPPPPPPP!". 

 

Ok before I spin off into a whole different tangent on this show, here is why it is so great.  Everything is doomed to fail from the beginning, everyone knows it, yet we ALL get sucked in and watch each week.  I mean, I feel like this is summer camp for grown women who all have a crush on the babe of camp.  Everyone is going nutso for a rose and will do anything to get one (cry, meltdown, maybe break an appendage, or faint).

 

I love watching it all unfold. 

 

There's usually someone that breaks down and cries on the VERY FIRST EPISODE.  Like for real? You're meeting a hot dude and wearing amazing clothes, and you probably had some free Botox and a makeover.  Why you crying?

 

Also, there's definitely always ONE girl that turns out to be the undermining female toolbag of the season...remember this girl?  CRAZY COURTNEY!!!

 

It just makes me LOL.  There's always a pyscho in the bunch that is out to monopolize the man in question right from the get go.  They piss off all the other girls and then they get anxiety and start telling the Bachelor man about the girl cattiness going.  And all the guys are too clueless to know how to respond. They usually send home the decent girl. And sometimes the pyschos WIN! But then everyone breaks up, oh you know, because they've only known each other for 2 months? Maybe?

 

I will say that the one thing ABC does right is pick the travel destinations.  Fiji, Bora Bora, Anguilla.  You name it, these people get to go there for free.  (I always wonder if these ladies like quit their jobs or how that works).  The places are spectacular though, scenic, gorgeous, just the perfect places to fall in love.

 

Also, Chris Harrison is the best example of the perfect show host.  He has an impeccable wardrobe.  He handles conflict resolution well.  He is sensetive to the women and listens to all of their issues.  He's there in the midst of a crisis, AKA, when the guy has things narrowed down to 2 women that he's fallen hopelessly in love with.  I'm pretty sure that his toilet paper is 2 ply and cushy, and that he probably wears starched underwear...

 

 

CH is perfection.

 

Every single week is always...''the most dramatic episode in Bachelor history!".  (gag).

 

All in all, this show has perfect parts drama, comedy, tragedy and triump. There are the highs and lows of about 10 different relationships going on at once, only to have one get cut short by the thorn of a rose (ah, that's poetic!).   It's my guilty pleasure, and although I've boycotted it the past 2 seasons, I think I'm back to my Monday night ritual. 

Sometimes, you just have to veg out after a hard workout and watch a hot man get nearly clawed to death by skinny babes that are only eating peanuts for the entire show.  Mindless entertainment at its best.  I love it. Don't judge me.

 

The. End.