Let me honest with you guys. I started to write this post about 10 times and it pretty much started like this:
as;dlfjkasl;dkfjasl;dkfjasl;dkfjasdl;fkjasldkfjasld;fkjasdlfjads;lfkjads;
AKA...raging river of furious words and venting.
Every time I started the post, I would stop, sigh, delete...and then try to re-word how I was feeling.
To explain how I was feeling, I let something really small take me down. As in should have kept my cool, not let it bother me, just kept on going. But I didn't. And I threw myself into work, meetings, responsibilities to take my mind off of it.
When I got home today, I had this excited feeling of opening up my laptop and just letting out all my anger and frustration. I thought about putting my Carrie Bradshaw hat on and just letting the words flow.
But as I sat here and struggled to articulate a decent post, I changed direction completely. I did something I've been doing lately when I just need a sign or some inspiration. I went and read other blogs for a bit. I hopped over to Brandi's AKA Mama Laughlin's blog and re-read her post from last week called "Don't Let Hate Breed Hate". This post was so amazing. A woman that read her blog and struggled with her own weight issues admitted to being a hater. Of being jealous of ML's weight loss and the amazing accomplishments in her life. The best part of this post is the response that Mama Laughlin gave. It was one of true class and character. Rather than get angry and not be understanding, she offered encouragement. In a world where so many women tear each other down, she took the high road. I read this again tonight for the second time and realized that sometimes in life, you just have to step back and let things go. You can't be angry at every person or thing that doesn't "get" you. You have to be you, but you have to handle things with grace and positivity.
I hopped over to my friend Beth's blog at That Little Spark and read today's post (again, because I read this during coffee/me time this morning). A lot of you already know that Beth re-designed my blog and did an amazing job. Since then, we've become good buddies and some days I read her posts and I'm like "we were separated at birth and share a brain?". And she is SUPER sweet. Girlfriend tried to send me a thank you card for working with her, but it got returned in the mail to her, but that's a good person right there.
Anyway, I digress, but her post today was about not letting the "ants" in life take you down. And I love this quote from her post and feel like I should Pinterest-it up on a palette and hang it on my wall it was so good:
"In the midst of all of life's frustrations, I'm thankful for the fight inside me to keep going."
That was deep and awesome...Thanks Beth!
So after reading both posts and gaining a little perspective, I grabbed my running shoes and headed out the door. My walk started off at a fast pace (because I was still mad). I had so many thoughts and my feet were trying to go one direction, so 10 minutes of coming close to looking like a mall walker, I broke into a good run. It lasted for 45 minutes. And in that 45 minutes, I had some things happen to me that just made me smile and I felt the heaviness start to lift off my shoulders little by little.
I passed a lady and her yorkie on the running path. As much as she tried to restrain that dog, that little stinker broke away from the leash and ran towards me like I was its long lost best friend. And she licked me all OVER the face. I did not care at all. In fact, I wanted to steal her and bring her home with me.
A serious looking cyclist-type passed me on his bike. I heard him coming the first time and was able to get out of his way. On the way back, I heard a bicycle bell and expected it to be a little girl with pink streamers and a basket on the handlebar. Nope, same guy. Seeing him be all serious with his tiny little bell made me giggle.
And the last thing that put things in perspective tonight was turning the corner to come home, looking up...and seeing a full moon. I had to smile and shake my head at the thought of God putting that up there for me to see on the last part of my run. And at that moment, what I went through today didn't seem quite so bad after all.
I always said that this blog would be a positive space and I plan to keep it that way. Even though I may post about how things my drive me crazy (like Matt Lauer or people forgetting how to drive when it rains), I can't let anger seep into this space I've created. People have told me how proud they are of me. How much I've inspired them. How they wait on my post to appear in their Facebook feed. It's an honor to keep writing and being accountable to my friends, old and new. Anger motivated me to be productive today and it also motivated me to not be angry for longer than I needed to.
And with that, I let it go.
Night y'all!
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