Adversity

 

Happy Sunday you guys! Is there a football game on tonight or something? 

 

Not to get all serious on a Sunday, but I guess that may have something to do with going to church this morning, something I haven't done consistently since the wedding.  Womp womp.

 

I shared earlier this week that I was over a lot of things. The cold.  The weather. Work was frustrating.  I was pretty broke and all I wanted was to buy some Target clothes and get a manicure.  I was feeling fat in the pants area.  Just when I was feeling the worst of the January Blues this week, something amazing happened this weekend.

It wasn't January anymore.

 

The sun came out today after about 10 days of gray, cold skies.

My best friend texted me this morning and asked me to join her for our church service.  I was in the gym (day number 2, no whining, thank YOU), and I was like "yes, I'll be there."

 

And when I walked in the doors and the music started, while the doors let in this stream of warm air and light, for the first time in a really long time, I felt lifted up.  I know, right, I just got married to the man of my dreams, we just shared an amazing honeymoon in an amazing place, and we've been supported by so many friends and family lately.  Life should be pretty good, right?

 

It is, but I've let a lot of things overtake me to the point lately to where I've uttered the words "I can't" a lot.  I've done it with work.  I've done it with some relationships.  I've done it with my physical transformation.  Even on the days where I was feeling a slight surge of energy, the desire to step foot in the gym just wasn't there.  I felt like so many things were against me.  Time, for one thing, was pushing against me.  I was home later and later.  I was working from my couch most nights.  Doubt was also working it's way into my world.  Did I make the right decision about my job? Was I ever going to have a normal schedule again? Would I EVER understand what I was doing?

 

This morning, our minister talked about using adversity to change your perspective.  And as I listened, I was struck by one theme.  You can't PLAN for everything.  You can't just say "I'm doing this today, this is it, and when I'm done, I go home and that's it".  I've so struggled with that lately because I AM the planner.  I plan everything.  I plan my life.  I try to plan my finances.  I try my best to make sure that my days are pretty much the same.

 

But that's not life. 

 

The other thing I was struck by is that even in the circumstance you're in, whether it's good or bad, you just have to be thankful that you're still here and just.....keep......going.  I'm one of those people that will spin my wheels if I'm not 150% happy.  My husband is the same way.  We're both intense about our careers and where we're going.  And a lot of the time, a big huge road block stares us both in the face.

 

It finally dawned on me that those roadblocks are there for a reason.

Maybe that dream job you've always wanted isn't happening because you're being groomed for something else.

 

Maybe the circumstances surrounding building a family didn't turn out like you wanted, but you're here, and so is love.  Maybe the roadblock is teaching you more about yourself.

 

Maybe a relationship you've had for many years comes to a stop because you realize that what once was no longer is.  And you aren't obligated to continue supporting something or someone that doesn't support you.

 

Maybe you tried on your skinny jeans this week and the button didn't get there for a reason, and the reason is you've let yourself go.  And in that moment, you realize that YOU are your roadblock.

So many things became clear this morning.  Maybe it was the beautiful sunlight or the air that felt like it carried oxygen for the first time in weeks.  It could have been the words that I felt like were spoken just for me this morning.  It was possibly the music that lead me to a decision I'll make later this week (stay tuned for that). 

 

Whatever it was, it made me think that adversity is real and it's in our life for a reason, not to be an annoyance.  And the only person that can overcome that roadblock...is me.

 

 Tomorrow starts a new week and new adversities.  My goal from this point forward in life, in marriage, and in this blog, is to take things as they come, deal with them, and then strive to get over the roadblock.  Staying where I've been for the past few weeks hasn't been fun. 

 

 Time to move on.  Happy Super Bowl Sunday y'all!