Life as of Lately

I've just now realized that I didn't even post about Lila Eve's birth story! Sorry you guys.  You can read about it here. Having a newborn makes you forget so many things.  Like where I put my grocery list.  Or where my car keys are.  Or trying to remember if I fed my child 3 hours ago. 

That's life as of lately. 

Life has drastically changed with my little one in the picture.  Late nights no longer consist of glasses of wine with my girls, they consist of feedings and diaper changes while I'm barely awake. My quick trips to the grocery store or Target are long gone. They require a sitter or a grandparents to just go and accomplish a small task.  My moments alone are spent napping or cleaning, not getting a pedicure.

I say all this with all of the love in my heart, because I truly wouldn't change it for the world.  I was not prepared for what a baby would be like.

I know, I know, you guys are all like...WELL YOU HAD 9 MONTHS TO PREPARE, HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE!?

Ok sure, I was prepared in the sense I had a nursery assembled and semi put-together prior to her arrival.  I had diaper bags packed with 12309123128 outfits for the hospital.  10 hats and 5 sets of headbands.  I read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" front to back.  I even bookmarked pages for Jarrett and quizzed him on all of the stages of labor.  I was prepared for a non-medicated natural birth followed by a beautiful experience breastfeeding and bonding with my child.  And then Care Bears would fill the room and sing a song about caring.  

Well, what I wasn't prepared for were all of the other things.  They need to write a book called "What You Don't Expect after You've Expected".  Or something like that. 

What I wasn't prepared for was my doctor telling us at 34 weeks that my baby was small and that she would make her appearance into the world early.  I started to panic making OTHER plans, realizing that the plan was that there would be no plan.

I wasn't prepared for putting my career aside and making it a second priority.  I had been so career driven for so long that the second I knew she was coming to meet us early, all of the emails, meetings and stress took a backseat. 

I wasn't prepared for caving for an epidural after about 2 hours of labor.  I felt like a HUGE wimp.

I wasn't prepared for my best friend showing up ON HER BIRTHDAY and sitting in the room with me watching the baby's heartrate and my contractions.  It's one of the best moments I could have shared with her, and we've had some beautiful ones. 

I wasn't prepared for how emotional that day would be.  Disappointment, then acceptance, followed by exhilaration, followed by immediate love.  

I wasn't prepared for hearing that first cry and thinking it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.  Weeks of worry washed away in cries that provided instant relief.  And then new worry. 

I wasn't prepared for looking over at my husband and feeling love swell so big I thought my heart would explode in the room and that surgeons would have to put it back together. 

I wasn't prepared for how much my family, friends and neighbors would pitch in to take care of me. 

I wasn't prepared for feeling like a complete and total failure at breastfeeding only to realize it wasn't about me anymore, it was about feeding my child.  IF that meant that milking a goat on top of the Swiss Alps, I was prepared to do it. 

I wasn't prepared to do just about anything for my child.  Like rock her to sleep for the 4th time after having a cranky night.  Or try 5 different swaddles only to realize she wants to sleep with her arms out. Or talk to her in the DUMBEST voice in the world.  But she loves it!

I wasn't prepared for those silvery purple stripes that appeared on my abdomen.  I look down at them shocked and sometimes disappointed in the fact that bikinis are probably a thing of the past.  But they're a badge of honor for getting her here, and I grew something awesome beneath those marks. 

I wasn't prepared to look in the mirror and see the bags under my eyes and the fact that my teeth may not have been brushed in 24 hours.  Feeling so put together for all my life went right out the window. 

I wasn't prepared to cry massive tears all over her little baby head telling her I loved her and would definitely screw things up at some point, but that I would be the best mom I could.  She slept and I just breathed in that amazing baby head smell that day and soaked it all in.

I wasn't prepared to love a little life form instantly.  I heard people talk about it.  For some of my friends, it took time for them.  Others fell in love instantly.  I did.  I saw her, she was mine, and I knew life would never be the same. 

It's been a whirlwind 6 weeks of tears, emotions, broken appliances, money drained, sleepless nights, and more diapers than I can count.  I've held little celebrations over things like adding another ounce to her bottle.  Or reaching the 7 pound mark, because she was TINY at 4 pounds 7 ounces.  I even danced around the living room one night dancing with her to "My Girl" with my door wide open for probably my entire neighborhood to see.  And I did not care at how foolish I looked at all.  I just cared how much I loved her. 

Writing has taken on a new life form for me.  Although this blog is not as busy with fitness posts as it used to be, it's still my place, my outlet, my little corner to write about my feelings.  I hope you all read this and share a little love with your families tonight.  Or if you have kids, no matter what age, you tell them you love them.  I sit here and stare at her little sleeping self next to me and cannot imagine life without her in it.  

Much love to you all! This chubby spin instructor is now a chubby (FOR NOW) proud mommy!

Instant Love: Lila Eve's Birth Story

Hi everyone!  So I know that Chubby Spin Instructor has fallen a little by the wayside in the past few weeks due to an important life event.  I look at my fellow mommy bloggers and am always like "how DO they find the time to blog, take care of multiple kids, go to the gym, cook for their families and just literally stay sane?". But finally, our sweet munchkin made it into the world, a little earlier than expected, and I am finally happy to share with my blog family!

Meet Lila Evelyn "Lila Eve" Davis! She was born on June 1st, 2015 at 5:32 PM, weighing in at 4 pounds, 7 ounces.  She was a teeny tiny but VERY boisterous little girl that came into the world roaring to life.  And a head full of dark brown hair.  And just the sweetest spirit. It was a life changing day and it's been filled with so much joy. She has her mommy and daddy wrapped around her little finger already and I literally feel like a big ball of mush when I look at her every single day. I've already cried HUGE tears on her sweet little baby head multiple times vowing to be a good mommy. 

Her birth was definitely a bit of a surprise for us starting at around 34 weeks.  We knew based on her gender ultrasound that she may be small due to the way the umbilical cord was attached to the placenta.  But were told not to worry. Everything about my pregnancy was textbook and super easy.  I gained an appropriate amount of weight.  I felt so healthy and vivacious all the way through. I walked a ton and ate great.  I did have debilitating heartburn and reflux, which unfortunately sent me reeling to the kitchen sink multiple times a week, but, that was to be expected.  I cried in the bathroom floor vowing no more children on one particularly bad episode :) Jarrett was a trooper all the way through.  We breezed into our 34 week ultrasound without a care in the world and were like "oh yay, we have 6 more weeks, everything is fine, we still have time to hang pictures in the nursery and put together her pack and play!".

WRONG.

First off, I went to that appointment on a Friday after work alone, because I just felt like everything was so routine.  Jarrett was at work awaiting the normal updates. As I laid on that table watching her little sweet face on the screen, I was also side-eyeing the ultrasound tech, who had started chewing her bottom lip and saying less to me.  Immediate panic set in, so I started asking her lots of questions.  The size issue had reared it's ugly head again and LE wasn't growing like she was supposed to.  She was weighing in around 4 lbs 8 oz.  My doctor was not in the office that day, so I met with one of her partners, who then informed me that I would need weekly ultrasounds, and non stress tests due to her size, and that she was coming out at 37 weeks.  Would not stay in utero until 40.  I wouldn't go into normal labor like I had planned. And that I may wind up with a C section.  These were all things that I had in the back of my mind as possibilities, but were totally opposite of my natural-no drugs "I can squat-press this baby out, I got this"-birth plan.

Insert shock and immediate flow of tears down face here.  

I tearfully called Jarrett and started informing the parents, work contacts and close friends.  Like the planner that I am, I immediately readjusted my work schedule and started going into baby prep overdrive.  Each week at the doctor was like my first time there, because there was no progress with her growth and it literally was like a "keep a hospital bag in the car" scenario.  

Finally at our 36 week appointment, our doctor went ahead and set our date for induction, and we had a week left as a family of 2. We checked into the hospital on Sunday May 31st to start the induction knowing she would be born sometime on June 1st. A doctor with the BIGGEST MAN HANDS (for a woman) inserted the Cervadil and I was super convinced that sent me straight into labor.  No such luck.  In fact, nothing happened for about 6 hours until 1 AM when I started having mild contractions for 4 hours.  I didn't sleep, but Jarrett managed to.  I was too excited and scared to sleep. 

6 AM, out came the Cervadil, stopping all contractions.  And then my doctor checked me.  Not dilated at all. I was super disappointed but oh well. Plus the nurse let us know that the baby's heart rate had dipped some overnight so we knew that she may not be tolerating things well. I got a shower and put on some makeup. And then started Pitocin.  The nurses started cranking that up throughout the morning.  I was doing ok until they started getting stronger and closer together and I literally couldn't talk.  And I immediately felt weak.  In my head I was like "I squatted 155 pounds at my fittest, SURELY I can have this baby without pain meds". Nope.  And to this day, I admire the ladies that can do it, because it was a trip for a few hours.  Around 11 AM, I caved and went for the epidural.  30 minutes later of nakedness and talking with a really nice anesthesiologist, I was feeling like I was on cloud nine. A very tired, but very happy cloud nine. My water was broken after another exam and I laid in a pool of my own fluids for a few hours watching the fetal monitor as my sweet daughter was jolted around and continued to not tolerate labor well.  Lots of nurses ran in and out of the room. I was too drugged up to feel anxious any longer but I knew that things were not great down there.

Finally around 1 PM, my doctor made the call for a C section at 4:30 PM.  In hearing these words, I was already prepared in my head for this to happen, and I accepted what I knew was the safest way to get her into the world.  And managed to relax and spend the last few hours with Jarrett as we knew her arrival was closer.  Even in my exhausted state, I remember looking at him scared and afraid but knowing life was about to change forever.  I wish I could have captured that moment in a time capsule forever. What an amazing man to stand beside me through all of what was already a long-drawn out labor and delivery. (I'm like blinking tears back while as I write that). 

We FINALLY suited up for surgery around 5 PM.  I felt like I was pumped full of fluids to the point that when that blood pressure cuff squeezed my arm, I thought my fingertips would explode.  15 minutes later and lots of pressure on my abdomen, Miss Lila Eve came crying into existence and that was the happiest sound of my entire life! They brought her tiny self over to us and I dissolved into a mushy, emotional first time mommy and Jarrett could not wipe the smile off his face.  She was laid up on my chest for skin to skin and we snuggled while some fun activity occurred on the other side of that drape.  She was teeny but measured normally elsewhere and everyone in the operating room loved her instantly too. They took her and Jarrett out and he actually spent 30 minutes with her while they closed me up.  When they wheeled my bed in, he had her up against his bare chest doing skin to skin and once again, I dissolved into tears and snorty snots and was so in love with the both of them all over again.  We spent as much time with her as we could that night until my sister informed the nurses that I was falling asleep holding the baby because I was so exhausted.  She stayed in the nursery so we could get some rest after 24 hours of a crazy labor. 

We spent 4 days in the hospital getting to know her, trying to breast feed, and getting cabin fever together.  I was pretty out of it due to all of the drugs from surgery, but I spent those days learning her little queues and resting. Since she was so early, she would not latch onto me and I was immediately hooked up to a breast pump each time she fed.  And then I had 3 nurses trying to shove my goodies into her tiny mouth and she just was NOT having it.  We tried all sorts of contraptions and had to supplement formula, which made me die inside a little, because I was so pro-breastfeeding the entire time, but knew it may not work out (Today, after a lot of work and tears shed, I'm packing away our rental pump to return it.  That's a whole other post for a different day, but I was at least able to give her some of my own milk for a month, but it wasn't enough to sustain her).  I learned quickly that having your offspring ripped from your body 3 weeks early would cause you to cry or get angry at a rapid pace, so I definitely had my hospital meltdowns, but I had so many sweet friends come and visit us while we were there. If I could have skipped out of that hospital without popping my stitches, I would have. 

We have settled into life at home with our sweet baby and though I'm sleep deprived and I forget to brush my teeth most days, I could not imagine life without her in it. She is a wonderful baby, she LOVES laying on her daddy's chest to fall asleep, she is spunky to be so tiny, and is gaining weight after so many attempts with breast feeding and pumping.  She's a good sleeper and eater and just a beautiful, sweet soul.  We've been taking her to weekly doctor's appointments so make sure she's beefing up and she's almost 6 pounds now, which is a huge milestone for us.  I really could throw a party because it took some work to get her there. Next to marrying my best friend, she's the best thing I've ever done.  ALL of the grandparents are super in love with her and are spoiling her already. Between all 4 of them, we've hung pictures, shelves, had multiple dinner brought our way, and been allowed to run some errands and SLEEP. We even had our first date night last night and it was amazing. 

In the midst of my sweet girl arriving, my precious grandmother, Granny Price, passed away 2 days before she was born.  I truly think she was trying to hold out to meet her new great granddaughter, but her tired body gave out after 95 amazing years.  We gave Lila Eve her name, "Evelyn" as her middle name, and I really think that my child definitely inherited her spunk and feisty personality.  She is strong like her great-Granny.  Though I miss Granny and was so sad to miss her funeral, I know she was able to kiss and hold my sweet angel before she made it down to earth. And that thought gives me so much peace knowing that they were able to meet each other. What a beautiful circle of life that brought my baby to me and sent my sweet Granny onto heaven to reunite with my Grandpa and other family members. 

Thank you all for letting me share her birth story.  Like I mentioned before, this blog continues to evolve every time I write. I have 9 more weeks left of maternity leave so I hope to be able to write more in the coming weeks and get back to more regular posts.  I've already planned some posts on living with a newborn, losing the baby weight (can you say FARMS/fat arms), and getting back to clean eating.  Which surprisingly hasn't been that hard, I've taken great care of myself now that I have a little one to be my daily inspiration to be my best. And apologies in advance, but there will be a gratuitous amount of pictures of this sweet girl from now on, because she's so STINKING cute and changes every day. Much love to all of you and Chubby Spin Instructor is back! Happy Saturday!

Happy Mother's Day!

First of all, shout out to all the mommies today, new moms, moms to be, grandmothers and our sweet mothers that brought us into the world.  You guys do amazing things EACH and every day and as a new mommy to be, I'm seeing up front what it's like to put someone else first for once.  It's like marriage, but scarier, because there's a tiny human involved depending on you for everything. 

So first and foremost, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY 2015 to all of you ladies out there! My mom and I make this joke a lot, I only thought it was appropriate to post since we've said this for so many years.

I think that it's been a few weeks (possibly months) since the last post.  I was 26 weeks the last time and now I'm a large and bulbous 34 weeks. REALLY hard to believe that this little nugget is entering our lives next month.  It's gone by so fast! I look back and I'm like "Man! I wish I would have documented this more" but I've been so busy and I feel like now I'm scrambling to finish the nursery, install all the safety things, get a breast pump and learn how to use it.  But it will get done.   So far, this is what the crib looks like all put together.  EEK SO CUTE! 

I've also been humbled in the last few weeks and it's all stuff that's like really FUN to talk about with other women.  I've learned that the physical challenges of pregnancy are completely insane and I guess I should have realized at some point I wouldn't be able to touch my toes.  Or easily just "hop" in my car.  Or stand up without feeling like my pelvis would fall on the floor. 

Here are a few things that I've realized in the past 8 weeks since feeling like a cute pregnant lady to now waddling around like I'm birthing a baby whale:

1) Shaving your legs (or anything) while pregnant should be an Olympic sport and gold medals should definitely be given out on a podium while the national anthem plays in the background (correction, chocolate medals, wrapped in gold foil).

2) Painting your toenails should also be a competitive Olympic sport, I have felt like one of those Cirque du Soliel contortionists a few times.  I finally opted for a pedicure 2 weeks ago and it was AH-MAH-ZING!

3) Sleeping comfortably is super hard. I'm surrounded by a pillow fort every night. I'm sure Jarrett is ready to lose all of those bed companions soon because he has to search for me every morning and find me.

4) Acid reflux SUCKS and there is no cure or relief at all.  Except eat less and sleep on aforementioned pillow fort. I can't wait until Lila Eve is no longer pushing my stomach into my throat each day.  But mommy loves you little one :)

5) Boobs.  They're just out of control now.  I feel like they're stray dogs that need to be harnessed on a leash and inside a fence. 

6) You have to tell people no. It's hard and it sucks to do it, but the bigger you get, it's obvious that your life is heading for a change.  It's hard to be involved in every little thing. 

7) I'm not kicking myself for not working out every single day.  I walk, I do Pilates, yoga, and some weights.  But there are days where I rest on my couch and I'm not sad about it.  I wanted to be the pregnant lady doing Crossfit at 9 months pregnant, but it didn't turn out like that.  And I'm ok! I still feel pretty ok minus the usual aches and pains. 

I could go on and on, but those are just a few things.  Case in point, it's been real, it's been fun, but at times it hasn't been real fun.  But I know that the end result will result in a tiny piece of existence with Jarrett's dark features and hopefully my cute chipmunk cheeks and all will be right in the world that day in June.

So as I write this, I look at number 6 about slowing down in my career, and that's a BIT of a stretch because I did manage to add one more thing to my plate recently.  But it doesn't feel like work at all.  I became an independent consultant for Rodan + Fields May 1st.  I really wanted to try the products out because I used Proactiv forever and loved it but was also inspired by a sweet friend of mine that had started as a consultant with no sales experience and was doing really well.  Her enthusiasm was genuine.  And in the past several months, I had really thought to myself a few times, "what do I enjoy in life and what do I really want to do?" (total Carrier Bradshaw moment). 

So I'm giving it a whirl.  I have business cards.  Yes, I post on Facebook a lot.  You may see me review things from time to time.  You may love it or hate it and may not want to read all my plugs, but the truth is, these products work.  And not only that, I do feel like I'm helping people.  That's a big thing for me.  I have had a vision of helping women for a long time and just could not figure out how to do that professionally.  This is giving me an open door to pursue that.  Whether it becomes something large or just something fun on the side, I can't wait to see where I am months from now.  If you guys are interested in anything, please hit me up for information.

https://rdavis82.myrandf.com/ContactMe

OK! Happy Mothers Day and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!  Enjoy your mom or anyone you consider a mom and celebrate her!

Staying fit while growing a bunch of bananas...

Happy Monday! This week is a big milestone.  Last week of the 2nd trimester, REALLY hard to believe that. This is what my pregnancy tracker on my phone said this morning.  Baby is the size of a bunch of bananas, about 2 pounds right now!  Hard to believe, I remember when she was just a jelly bean with tiny fish fins (or at least that's what she looked like). 

So I never thought that my blog would take on the shape of a mom/wife blogger, because there's definitely still a sense of fitness behind what I'm doing.  But it has taken on that form, and I'm ok with that, and hope you guys are too.  Blogging while pregnant has been tough, there's just never enough time. I do find myself wanting to stay more mentally and emotionally fit these days, because for real you guys, growing a little one is hard on EVERYTHING.  

One of the things I was most proud of prior to getting pregnant was joining an online fitness group.  We live all over the U.S. and we check in and keep each other accountable.  It was so awesome to see progress with so many people that I had never met.  I only know one couple that maintains the group, and they are awesome fitness pals of mine, and have an adorable little boy.  Yesterday, after 6 months of not checking in, I decided to post to the group on how I'm doing.  And this is the truth.  I've managed to stay active.  Some days are better than others. I'm not like throwing around heavy things like I used to, but I walk and do a lot of Pilates and barre workouts (thank you YOUTUBE). I eat well and fuel myself.  Sometimes, I fuel myself only with Nutella.  But that's only for a morning, maybe a snack. As of my last appointment, I was only up 13 pounds, which is amazing considering I pretty much can't see my feet right now and my back every night makes me feel like I'm carrying a baby blue whale.  All and all, a pretty uneventful, easy and wonderful pregnancy.

Standard bathroom selfie to show of your growing round tummy.  OH and I got a new haircut, LOVE IT!  Except someone the other day was like "oh I love your "mom" cut" and I had to like restrain myself from wanting to hurl my coffee mug at the face from which that came from.  Pregnancy hormones will make you feel that way...and then I ate some food and felt better.

For real though, I got some great feedback and encouragement from my fitness pals and I thought I would share how I've managed to work a full time job, be a (semi) decent wife, and also through fitness and clean eating into my world.  I've discovered what works best for me and I stick to it. 

EXERCISE: I stick mainly to walking, some light running, and a lot of Pilates/Barre routines that can be done while pregnant.  The strength I've managed to keep in my legs and abs has really helped me some days with back pain.  Lots of lunges and squats.  My one problem area right now is my arms, they've gotten a little bat-wing-ish.  Or FARMS as I like to call them.  Fat Arms.  Nothing terrible, but I don't have weights at home, so I have to get creative. There not where I want them to be, but I have a feeling lifting a growing baby will take care of that at some point :)

I also have fallen in love with prenatal yoga, especially with starting to get bigger.  It's just so good for you and Lila Eve loves it too.  Lots of kicks while doing some good stretches.  I was a huge yoga buff back in college and got fairly serious about practicing. I had a wonderful professor that just taught me so much. I even did hot yoga for awhile when I was running a ton, totally was in the best shape of my life.  Flexibility is key, pregnant or not. But seriously, right now I'm sitting here with candles lit on the floor after finishing up a 30 minute session and it feels great!

FOOD: Do I splurge? Yes.  I eat some form of ice cream almost every night.  Do I cheat? You betcha. Nutella is my cheat meal, with a spoon, from the jar...don't judge me.  But am I still eating good food that fuels my body? Absolutely! I've kind of adopted the philosophy of eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper.  #1, it helps tremendously with heartburn, sheesh, this baby girl better have a head full of hair. #2, I have the most energy in the morning, so I fuel myself best at this time.  I have small snacks during the day.  I have craved fruit, so I can wolf down some strawberries and pears like nobody's business right now.  I basically eat the same things as before, lots of lean protein, but I am eating more carbs now because it's what feels good to me. 

REST: Sleep is key these days.  And it's hard, there are days where I want to fall asleep in my desk chair for an hour and hope nobody notices.  I try to go to bed early.  I definitely am noticing it's more uncomfortable now, so I sleep in what's basically a pillow fort.  Sometimes, I nap in my car.  Just go drive somewhere and lay down.  

RELAXING: Pregnancy can be stressful.  Hormones are no joke, they will make you want to cry one minute, and then hug your neighbor the next. Things like money and "oh GOD how are we going to do this?" are common thoughts I have.  But since I officially have 3 months left to go, I'm learning there is stuff I can't control.  Like.....will I have a C Section? Is she ok in there? Epidural or no? How many football games can we make it to this year and not lose our minds?  Relaxing is key, and I'm definitely having to force myself to chill some days.  I've done better with work.  It's the whole giving birth and a whole new life with 3 people instead of 2 that makes me anxious.  But Saturday, I did manage to have a prenatal massage, and it was AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG and I will be doing that at least once a month until Lila Eve is born.  So worth it.  I fell asleep after (that table is SO WARM and cozy, how do I get my bed to feel like that!) and I also might have drooled on the pillow.  Most definitely doing that again!

OH and Essential Oils.  If you guys want the scoop on that, you can message me, I won't go into all the deets, but I will say that lavender oil has saved me a few times with sleeping, and also with just any feelings of anxiety.  If you guys want any ideas on what to use for headaches, aches and pains, even just tension and stress, I can get you the info. My mom is a big big fan of them and they will most likely make an appearance in the delivery room.  But I promise I won't be like super flower child! I already said to my mom that my doctor may think we're a bunch of hippies when we roll up in the hospital with our box of oils:

I know you guys are going.... essential oils....YOGA?! What in the world? But hey, it works for me.  I'm loving feeling this good this far along.  

Hope you all have a wonderful week, I'll try to check in a little more often as I can over the next few weeks before the butterbean makes her appearance in June!