I totally had a great time posting all of the fitness things, offering advice, what was working for me, recipes etc. I got really really strong and was actually getting into incredible shape and doing man-like lifting right through last fall. Every day was like leg day.
And then I found out I was pregnant with Lila Eve in October.
The fitness posts dwindled, as did my blogging. I had a fairly decent first trimester, but was SUPER tired and was working a really stressful job at the time. I was super emotional and just downright exhausted at the end of every single day. Walking and spinning made me feel better, so I tried to hang with it. The struggle was real.
Second trimester was awesomesauce and I felt amazing and super healthy. I ate great and I kept on with yoga, Pilates, and more walking. I didn't think I could get big and feel beautiful, but I did!
Third trimester was definitely hard. I think this goes without saying for all of us that have been pregnant, those last few weeks are super tough. I waddled more than walked, I was carrying more weight than I wanted to, but 30 pounds was all I gained. On a 5'2 frame though, it was challenging. Rolling over in bed and shaving became Olympic sports to me. Don't EVEN get me started on the heartburn and reflux.
And then our sweet nugget joined us and life has truly not been the same. That little smile completely melts me every single day. Even on the mornings after sleepless nights.
In true chubby fitness girl fashion, I immediately contracted my friend and trainer that I knew from 2 years ago and came up with a plan to start working out as soon as I was cleared. We met and discussed my goals (which was of course to be Ronda Rousey BA in a few weeks), and then started my training twice a week.
Has it been hard? YES. I've been sweating like a pig for an hour at a time, almost unable to breathe at points, but I'm doing it. Is eating healthy again tough to do? Abso-freaking-lutely, because when you have a kid, good luck feeding yourself at regular intervals. I'm lucky to shove in a sandwich some days before I realize it's dinner and I've had no other meals. You come second to that little starving mouth which is always hungry!
But here's what I've learned in the past few weeks. Underneath all the loose skin and farms (AKA fat-arms), is a strong woman that didn't lose her strength, she became stronger. Mentally, I'm much tougher than I've been in awhile. Well, minus those moments when I emotionally cry due to lack of sleep, but I'm seeing a warrior emerge in me, and that has really astounded me. For 2 weeks, we've battled reflux and projectile formula vomiting and I stopped at nothing to figure out a solution. The times I've wanted to quit during my training sessions, there's a set of eyes watching over me pushing me to go further, and at the end when I'm gassed, I did it. One of the first weekends I worked out in a group, I went 6 rounds in an AMRAP and it's been at least a year or more since I've done that. 2 months after a baby and surgery mind you. And while my body was tired, my mind pushed me to be better and to go hard like I always do. Bringing that little life into the world has toughened my skin in a lot of ways. The little things don't matter and I care about the health of my daughter, me, and my family. Even Jarrett is on the bandwagon!
Mommy skin is a unique thing. It's stretched and marked with new colors after carrying something so beautiful for 9 months. It's made me look in a mirror and now I have a new drive to be a better version of myself. It's also made me appreciate what women have to take on and how flexible but strong they have to be as they grow as mothers.
When Colt asked me my goals about 3 weeks ago, it wasn't to run a marathon in 4 months out or to dead-lift 200 pounds. My first response was "I want to get back to fighting shape". He even wrote that on my assessment and that's now become my mantra. To fight. Not to fight against people or like go around beating people up. Or even to fight for my right.....to paaaaaaaaaaartaaaaaaaaaaaay.
The fight in me is to do what I know in my heart is be the best "me" I can be. Meaning mommy to Lila Eve. A good wife to Jarrett. A good daughter to my parents and in-laws. A good co-worker and a good friend. And this doesn't mean being perfect, which is something I've always struggled with. Perfection is not my goal, it's being strong. Allowing myself to break, but then get right back up again and keep going. Those days where I'm exhausted and the baby cries only after 20 minutes of a nap and all I want to do is close my eyes and sleep for a year....I just keep going. I don't know how, but I do it.
Happy Friday you guys. Find your fight this weekend and be the best "you" you can be!
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