What I've learned in 33 years

Happy Saturday you guys!  It's cold and rainy here in Charleston and I'm ready to see the sun.  It's been super depressing and gray, meaning PJ pants for days, and binge watching Breaking Bad on Netflex.

Wait, I do that everyday......

So last month, my birthday was pretty much a blip on the radar, and it was lost in the shuffle of buying a house, moving, and dealing with some tough life situations. 33 came and went without much fanfare, which is fine by me.  But this year is definitely a different year for me, obviously with Miss Lila Eve on the way, and things to worry about like juggling work and a baby for the first time, paying for a house and the things that come with it.  It's a little daunting feeling like a real adult for the first time.

As I sit here and enjoy my coffee and Cinnamon Toast Crunch in bed in my PJ pants, here are a few things I've learned in the 33 years I've been on earth. 

1) You're going to realize that your parents were right like 90% of the time.

Ok so they didn't do like all the things right, like that time you had thick bangs cut straight across your forehead.  Or like letting you ride bikes with your friends without helmets. But you're going to look back on advice they gave you on money decisions, life in general or school things, and one day you're going to have that face palm moment to where you go... "I should have listened to my dad/mom".  And the older I get, the more I realize that what they have taught me has truly rubbed off.  You look in the mirror and all the sudden, you've become your parents.  How did that happen!

2) But to follow that up, even if they did get it right and you didn't, you'll still figure it out on your own.  

Back in the day in college, I wanted to be a doctor, then a lawyer, then a physical therapist, then a nurse.  There were so many things that I loved about those jobs, but the doors kept closing.  I was 3rd in my class in high school, but as I got rejected from each post grad school I applied to, I felt like a huge failure.  It sucked.  So I started working.  When I got my current job in 2007, I didn't think I'd be there long.....I did leave it for about a year, but I've been back for 4 years this month.  Here I am almost 7 years later. Do I love what I do every day? Not all the time.  But do I love that I have a great life and have made great friends because of that place? Absolutely.  And I figured that out on my own.  From aspirations of wanting to be a pediatrician, to being a software account manager, a spin instructor and a small time blogger....eh, it works!

3) People are going to judge you...you just have to get good at ignoring it.

I have been told so many times that I'm intimidating.  I don't know how a chipmunk faced 5'2 adult can be that way, but, I GUESS I have the tendency to be intense at times.  Both professionally and personally. And that's just me.  You can take it or leave it. I've managed to calm down and not be so crazy at times, but I will rip you a new one if you mess up any of my credit card or utility bills!

Oh and pregnancy judgement...yeah, it's there too (SORRY I have to address this, because it's a new thing lately).  Everyone has an opinion.  But I listen to my doctor and read a lot of books. Super sorry if you don't agree,  It's my life and this baby girl is still kicking me fiercely. Heaven forbid some of you ask me what mine and J's parenting style will be like.  I grew up with a military Dad and 2 military grandfathers, so discipline is a big thing for us......sorry not sorry :) 

4) GET SOME SLEEP!

Sleep is key.  8 hours or more.  If you're burning the candle at both ends, you will suffer mentally, emotionally and physically.  You will eventually turn into Jerry McGuire and everyone will stare at you as you have a debilitating flip out one day as you leave work. WHO'S COMING WITH ME???

5) Relax about your job and control what you can control.

Gah....J and I have this conversation all the time.  Work can drain you.  It's where you spend 8 hours a day or more.  But why are you stressing about the fact that your co-worker like didn't do their job, but that has nothing to do with what you're doing? Or someone that you were depending on was off one day when you needed them, and you wanted to cry? You can't control life circumstances. I mean, come on, worry about YOU. And be happy, dangit.  If someone gets mad at you over something that isn't your fault, it's not the end of the world.  I'm not curing cancer everyday, I'm offering people solutions to problems that may or may not work in a constantly changing industry (Now if you ARE trying to cure cancer and you mess up, well, then that's on you).  Get a grip, worry about you, but try to be nice to everyone.  RE-LAAAAAAAAAAAX.

6)  Set up a budget and don't live like a college freshman with your parent's credit card for "emergencies only".

Like an emergency was stuff like new shoes and an awesome dress for ZTA formal.  Now I will say, because my parents never handed me a credit card to begin with when I left home, I never had the luxury of a new spring wardrobe like some of my college girl buddies. I worked all through college and paved my own way.  Which is why I'm so money conscious now.  I do set a weekly budget, which we try to stick to, and we save a ton and probably live as cheap as we can.  It's worth it when emergencies pop up not having to whip out the credit card. 

7) Spend time with your loved ones, because you don't know when they're going to be gone one day.  

Life is so short.  Last month was hard with the loss we dealt with regarding J's grandfather.  But we made the effort to see him a lot and I cherish the time with him.  Life is too short to spend all your time with just you.   Yes you should be selfish and take weekends to yourself sometimes, but spend time with the ones you love.  Your life will be enriched to a point you never imagined. 

8) Your group of friends will get smaller the older you get, but you'll love it. 

This is how I feel about my best friends.  "Yellow" starts playing in my heart.  But on the real, the days of coordinating a weekend with 15 people will start to dwindle.  And you'll be so happy for it.  Life will be more simple.  You'll lose touch with people, but you'll follow them on Facebook and be happy for them.  You're not a jerk for not keeping a full social calendar. 

9) You're going to look at your spouse/fiance/significant other and want to kill them and love them all at the same time.  And that's ok.

It's so funny the things couples argue over.  Money.  Who ate the last piece of bread?  Why is the house so MESSY when I cleaned it a day ago?  I can't imagine life without J.  Before he came along, I wanted to be Miss Independent and not have someone to lean on.  When he showed up randomly into my life almost 5 years ago, something just worked. 

One time, a good girlfriend asked me how married life was. My answer....it's hard. It IS! She was shocked I said that.  And to explain, I said this. "You're going to have moments where you're so angry, you want to throat punch the other person and just get away. But when you realize you're going to look at that person for the rest of your life EVERY SINGLE DAY and they're going to get fat, and wrinkly, and probably super crabby, and you don't want to be with anyone else but them, then you know you've found the right person."  She said nobody had every explained that to her before and she was thankful for the real life perspective. 

10) And this brings me to a close but TAKE CARE OF YOUR SKIN, ESPECIALLY YOUR FACE

Like my 95 year old granny always said to me....you only get one face.  I quit the tanning beds when I was 24.  That was probably 5 years too late.  I've had a mole removed, some small basal cell things frozen off my face, and since being scolded by my dermatologist (which by the way if you live in Charleston and want to go to her, she's AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGG), I've kept up a good skin routine.  It involves sunscreen every single day (with a CC Cream, which is awesome, PM me and I'll tell you what I use), and I also wash and moisturize my face every night.  I don't use the same stuff all the time, but I do use what my dermatologist has developed thanks to a lovely Christmas gift and my skin has never looked better. 

I also have friends in the skin care business that have given me so much great stuff over the years that I can't help by try it all out.  I am a big fan of microdermabrasion. I tend to lean towards scrubs for some reason. I've never had it done professionally, but as I get older, fine lines start to appear.  For 2 years, I used the Neutrogena Microdermabrasion System.  Mainly because it cost 20 bucks in a box, BUT, this stuff works.  My pores shrank and my skin smoothed out and I love that thing.  It's also great for sun damage, and I have a very splotchy, red skin tone and it helps even things out.

OH, sidebar, prenatal vitamins help too.  Great for hair and nails, yes, but my skin has been so amazing.  I'm taking those suckers forever. I've discovered the fountain of youth! 

Recently, a good friend of mine sent me a sample of Rodan + Fields Microdermabrasion Paste.  The very first time I used it, my face felt like baby skin.  Smooth and completely buffed of imperfections. I made Jarrett feel it in bed the other night, and even he was impressed.  I'm still using this small tube of stuff right now and I can tell a huge difference in the texture of my skin.  My makeup goes on smoother and I haven't had a face zit in quite some time.  I highly recommend you guys giving this a try if you want. I've heard nothing but great things about R + F and have a great consultant if you guys are interested in reaching out to her.  Check out my lovely friend Jordan, she is a sweet dear friend of mine in the Columbia area as is kicking tail as an independent consultant.  She's a wife and mom and is 100% behind this business, so I'm giving her a shout because I love what she sent me and will definitely be trying some other things!  GO CHECK OUT MY GIRL JO!  And check out their before and afters, everyone is definitely aging in reverse.  Get on the bandwagon, this stuff is good. 

This is me, direct sunlight about a month ago, with a wrinkle free forehead.  (Ok I did Botox once, but a LONG time ago).  But this is at least 2 years worth of using microdermabrasion products, no further Botox, and just good clear skin to show for staying out of the sun and taking care of my skin.  

Long story short, take care of yourself.  I look back at this post and it's all common sense stuff, but I wouldn't have listened to any of this from a old 33 year old 10 years ago.

Much love you guys, have a great weekend!

Life as of Lately...and 22 week update!

Hey guys! So sorry for the long hiatus! I know it's been more than a few weeks, but it's been a rather rough January and I'm glad that February is treating us better.  For those of you that follow my regular Facebook, you know a bit about this, but here's life as of lately for the Davis Clan.

Mid-January, we moved to our new house! YAY!

But, moving was a struggle with being about 15-16 weeks pregnant and we had to make a really tough decision about Boone.  As soon as we moved, his anxiety went to an all time high and we just knew it was time to return him to his former rescue.  It was one of the saddest days of my life.  We were coming home everyday (in the new and old place) to torn up doors, windows, and eventually, the new couch we had purchased.  We didn't have enough time with him.  He had been super anxious and into everything over the holidays and all but became Snot from Christmas Vacation by destroying Jarrett's parent's guest bathroom.  I still can't talk about it without getting a little choked up, because I'm already emotional (stupid hormones). I miss his howls and taking him on walks, but, we knew that he needed a home with other dogs and with people that would have the time to love him.  We miss him dearly, as he was a part of our first year of marriage, and he was a part of the adventure.  Our home is definitely a little more quiet these days.  

Boone's departure was followed up by all 3 of our grandparents having some sad things happen.  Jarrett's grandmother "Nanny" suffered a stroke which left her in a hospital for about 2 weeks. The very next week, his grandfather, "Pop", passed away suddenly from a massive cerebral hemorrhage.  We were all unprepared for the tragic circumstance of his passing.  We have all rallied around Nanny in the past few weeks, and she as greatly improved, PRAISE THE LORD! But I know it's been hard for her to come home to a house that previously contained one of the greatest men I've known in my life.  He reminded me so much of my Gramps.  He had the best Harry Carry glasses and wonderful advice and he loved me like a granddaughter he had known all of his life.   He loved his family fiercely, was a solid Christian example to everyone around him, and I'm honored to have been a part of that, if only for 4 years.  I smile thinking about how he got to see our house before he passed, and offered Jarrett good advice for cleaning up under our big oak tree :) 

In the midst of all of this, my grandmother "Granny" was diagnosed with MDS (same thing Robin Roberts had), and at 96, will not be seeking treatment. She's needing additional care where she is right now.  We knew that Granny had been slowing down for the past 5 years.  She has restless leg syndrome and she was in so much pain lately, that a trip to the hospital finally revealed what's probably been going on for a long time.  Like Nanny, she's really strong and independent, and it's hard to know that she's suffering.  Just the last time I saw her before Christmas, we were out shopping for shoes.  I cherish those moments with her, even now more than ever.  She has been super excited about her newest great grandbaby, and I hope to visit her in the next few weeks to bring her some cheer. 

So as you've probably pulled out the tissues reading all of that sadness, there is some light and love in the midst of tragedy. Jarrett and I had our gender appointment right after Pop passed away.  We needed to see this baby so bad and fount out that we're having a little girl!!!  (Side note, I feel like I look LARGE and in charge in this photo).  We had planned a gender reveal party that weekend following our appointment. All of our friends and family showed up for this and it was the first time we had used our house for any type of get together and it was a wonderful event.   Our neighbors stopped by.  It was amazing.  My sister in law and cousin in law planned an amazing Cheerleader or Quarterback themed party and it was so fun!  I'll post the video to the Facebook page for Chubby Spin Instructor.  We already knew she was a girl, and wanted to share that moment earlier in the week, but it was so fun to surprise all of the special people in our lives.  The grandmothers and aunts are pretty pumped about a girl, as are the grandfathers.  My dad was really hoping for a grandson, but, I think this baby will be his special sidekick and outdoor buddy.  She's already very loved and we were blown away at the sweet housewarming and nursery gifts.  My heart is at its fullest these days and I could not be happier.  Miss Thang is going to have her daddy wrapped around her little finger.

She does have a name that we've decided on.  Lila Evelyn Davis, and we'll call her Lila-Eve as a double name (it's a southern thing, I couldn't resist). There is special meaning behind her name.  She's named for my dad's grandmother, Mamie Lila (and my Aunt Rendy is also Lila), and Evelyn is my sweet Granny's name.  I wanted to honor her somehow since she's my only living grandparents left in my family and such a special part of my life.  When she heard the news, she was happy and shocked that I wanted to use "such an old lady name".  She's s trip.  If L.E. is anything like the 2 women she's named for, then she'll be independent, probably a good bit stubborn, but will love life to the fullest.  The way this baby jumps around all the time, I'm pretty sure she's having a blast in there right now.

As I bring this post to a close, I think about the fact that we're having a daughter, and I think about the women in my life as of lately and how strong they are.  My mom has been on the road and by her mother's side making the best decisions for her, all while being there for me and Jarrett in the midst of so many hard times.  I can't begin to thank her enough.  And I want to tell her to sleep for a week, I don't know how she's done it.

Jarrett's mom Daphne was a complete rock in the midst of two difficult situations with her parents.  I've never seen someone be so strong in the face of chaos and I admire her toughness more and more each day.  I know the entire ordeal exhausted her, as she split time between work and caring for her mother.  I've been amazed at what she can do.  (and she needs to sleep too, we ALL need a nap).

Jarrett's sister Kendra...I don't even have words.  A doctor, a strong decision maker, a good friend to me and a wonderful sister in law.  I couldn't have been more blessed to have been around her in the past few weeks.  We don't get to see each other often, but she is a great aunt and is so excited to spoil Miss L.E. And has also been a rock for her family.

My sister Jessica.  She works hard, is a big important lady in her career, but she always has time for me.  She always finds ways to treat me no matter what I'm going through.  She wanted to be a part of my 16 week appointment and sat in the room to hear Lila-Eve's heartbeat and I just can't forget the joy on her face.   We may be 13 years apart, but we're as close as Irish twins.

Nanny and Granny...both have suffered major physically challenging events in the past 2 weeks and are having to fully rely on family now for everyday care.  I can't imagine how hard that is.   They are also doing it without their spouses around, and that thought humbles me every time.  I don't even know what I would do without J. Even in their later years, I'm blown away at what they can do for themselves.

And last but not least, I can't leave out my dear friend Steph.  In 6 weeks, she's become a first time mom and transitioned into that role with all the challenges that come with a new baby.  She's had good days and bad days, has called me in the midst of both, and we've laughed and cried together.  Just yesterday, she called me SUPER stoked that she was going to the grocery store alone and was so happy to just get out by herself.  It was so good to hear the "bubble" back in her voice! Our babies will be 6 months apart and I'm thrilled for them to grow up together.  Five years ago, we were traveling the world, going to Vegas, and having the time of our lives.  Now, we're married and starting families.  When I think about how she's taken on this role as a new mommy head first, I'm so proud of her.  She has always been strong and independent, but now, I truly see how strong a mother has to be for her child.  And my sweet little nephew Nicholas is one blessed child with her around (and Mikey too, I can't leave him out, but this is more for the ladies).

For the ones of you that read this blog (and I know it's mostly females), I applaud you for the hard things you have to go through.  Being pregnant has not been easy and I've definitely had my meltdowns and weak moments.  But I've also worked a full time job, dealt with hard personal circumstances, and managed to somehow still be around.  The moments we all want to crumble, we have to find the right resolve.  In the past 4 weeks, I've learned more about myself and what I want out of life than ever before.  And I see my blog taking on a new life in that.  I feel like my posts will have new meaning.  I may not post about working out as much.  I may post more about advice on family and budgets, and how to just be happy in general.  I can't say for sure where this is going, but as my life emerges into something new, so does my writing and the purpose for this space.

Much love to you all that have sent cards, texts and been a part of a tough few weeks for us.  Jarrett and I are truly blessed with amazing friends and family.

Happy Sunday!