Battling Negativity

Good evening late nighters!  Short and sweet post tonight, but full of some good motivation.

So I'm sitting here working on my spin class I'm teaching in the morning at 5:45 AM and had some time to reflect on the day.  (Yes, you read that right, AM not PM, did you know that 5 comes twice a day????)  I can't wind down for whatever reason.  So I thought I would write a brief post.  It was a good day, but honestly y'all, everything in my path tried to derail me.  

The reason you guys haven't seen me around in a bit on the blog is because I've been fighting some of those demons I talked about in my post called Learning to Cope.  You can read about that here.  I work in one of the most stressful environments, and our busy season, typically coupled with the time change, usually takes me down hardcore.  Last year, I breezed through because....well, I had a wedding to look forward to in December (really hard to believe we've almost been married a year, eek!).   I guess in thinking about that, I will every single year come December 15th :)  But overall, once things start ramping up, the hours get long and the stress can reach points that are hard to deal with.  I've been doing this for almost 5 years now, so you'd think it would be old hat by now.  It is still a struggle, but I get through it.

When I wrote about how I was feeling as a woman, wife, and just a person in general, I look back at my anxiety and think WOW, I was crippled.  Not only that, I was crippled by a poor body image.  I was hiding in my clothes and not feeling super confident about me.  I was still finding comfort in food and letting myself not be disciplined. 

Over the past few weeks, I've been keeping up more with an online accountability group I joined last year.  I joined it because I think that like blogging, being honest to the public (aka Facebook) helps you stay in check with your calls.  I joined ANOTHER group the other night with some of the same folks, and it involves staying healthy for fall.  Definitely a challenge because we all know that pumpkin spiced EVERYTHING is available like free candy and I don't know, something about the fall makes me want to consume a bottle of red wine from my couch a few times a week....in my sweatpants.

So back to today and how everything tried to derail me (and this is where my awesome group comes into the picture).  I arrived at work a little later than I like and got a crappy parking space.  Harumph.  I could NOT get coffee until about 10:00 AM, all because one million people were at the coffee machine all morning.  Hence why I like going in early.  My laptop is a dinosaur and shuts down without warning at least 4 times a day now.  Just in general, people felt snippy and not super chipper.  My office lunch was less than stellar.  I know I know, the troubles of a growing company, woe is me, stop whining, Rebecca, right?  

RIGHT! Because every few hours, I would check Facebook, and people were posting pictures of their healthy breakfasts and daily motivations.  Like "OMG I ran 2 miles today in the cooler air, YAY FALL!" Or "I had protein shakes twice today and loved both of them".  All of the positive vibes kept me really motivated to push through the crazy workload I have going on and just keep going.  

I also left at 5:00, did not turn my laptop back on, and bought myself a new comforter from The Target.  Something about new things make you feel refreshed sometimes.  I also randomly went to a Scentsy party the other night and knew one other person, and it was totally last minute.  Stuff like that would usually set me on a roller coaster of brain battling myself, but I felt like going, and I went and had a blast.  See? I feel like I'm making SOME progress with this anxiety thing.

Maybe it's my new cookie scented candle or my new group with all of their amazing energy, but fall has me totally motivated to have a new attitude this year.  There were things today that I wish could have happened.  I was waiting on a phone call that just did not come through.  I tried to complete a task that has taken me awhile, and I still have road blocks.  I didn't make it to the gym like I wanted.  But all of that is ok.  To know that I'm not bothered by those things makes me realize that the changes, though small, are happening.  And I'm proud of that. 

Ok time to sleep now! I have some really cool workout moves that are coming your way tomorrow after I teach so prepare yourself for some awesome training routines I've been following!

Good night!